Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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