got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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