ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
