69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
