READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
