As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize