do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
