dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
