I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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