Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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