Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize