man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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