I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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