Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
