why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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