soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
