Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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