If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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