I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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