Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
