don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
