I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we're making bets on your personal life
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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