If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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