yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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