You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
