I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
