The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
