Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
