I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
