I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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