1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
These tits shall not be calmed
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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