The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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