Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
