ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
