He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
