I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize