Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
