I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
