i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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