1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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