What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
