i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
