Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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