New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
