Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
