didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
