I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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