just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
