Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Buhtt sex?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
