how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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