What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What a dumb baby whore.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
