Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
