We're like a lot better than the average bears
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
