Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize