So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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