evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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