"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize