so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
