There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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