it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
