Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
