His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
