Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
