I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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