I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
