haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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