The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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