so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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