I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh god it's open bar.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
