A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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